uncodlyawwesome | [ataraxion] inbox

i'm going to get you drunk and i'm not going to understand a fucking word you say but you're going to fucking love it

you dont knoww wwhat ill lovve or hate dont evven act like you do
also i got drunk once it wwasnt that big a deal

then you were doing it wrong

fuck you no i wwasnt its not fuckin hard you just drink until things get loopy

just that? no, that's what old men in dreary old sports bars do. it's the journey that's important, grasshopper

[ So, some time after this... ]

Hey, it's me.
If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're ignoring me. You're really taking things a little too seriously.
Looks like you're more easily excitable now that there's another female troll on the prowl. I guess that's probably a huge deal to you.
Well, that's all I really wanted to say.
That, and I told you I still know other ways to contact you even if you ban me from that network post. Or when you decide that you just won't reply.
Later.

do you just not understand the fact that i wwant to see you throwwn out of an airlock

this is me being completely fuckin angry at you by the wway
youre creepy an fuckin obnoxious an you havve an obsession wwith puppets that is nigh on fuckin insane
also if you evver
evver
talk about my situation wwith fef wwithout knowwin shit about it i wwill fuckin end you straightawway an i havve killed much better people ovver much less than you basically bein a fuckin creepy asshole

so yeah

seriously you are fuckin creepy stop harassin me

See, I don't really get why you've always got your panties in a bunch around me.
How the hell am I being creepy or obnoxious?
I'm just trying to be a friend and looking out for you.
Whatever doesn't kill a person makes him stronger, you know.
It's the same principle.

ok let me tell you wwhat youvve done that is creepy or fuckin wweird or generally somethin i dont fuckin appreciate
firstly all the puppets
puppets are fuckin creepy especially wwhen you use them to fight or just plain leavve em around wwatchin people wwho are havvin serious fuckin convversations
also by proxy usin your fuckin wweird speed powwer to fuck wwith us
secondly the stalkin
theres a difference betwween keepin an eye out for posts by people you wwant to talk to or hoppin into a convversation wwhen it pertains to you or evven if it doesnt on occasion
an makin recordins a them talkin about wwhat havve you an then keepin it
an then wwatchin them all the time keepin tabs on all a their movvements an nosin in at evvery opportunity

lastly theres the fact that the only people wwho believve that bullshark about wwhatevver doesnt kill you makes you stronger are fuckin sociopaths or complete fuckin losers wwho arent wworth peoples times

wwas your lusus just like fuckin stupid or somethin evven nep can handle social interactions an she livved in a fuckin cavve

Concisely state current location.
If far, will leave peroxide in your room.

SH

[wow this is a pain in the dick to switch between on a private line. that's annoying. BUT HE KEEPS HIS PROMISES. sometimes...]

I'm in my room.

[ Sherlock takes around five minutes. Five minutes spent mostly transferring the bleach into a container and then finding a scarf. Sherlock has the Tranquility uniform on, but the coat and scarf are worn. He flips the collar up as he walks to Eridan's room. Knocking on the door. ]

[Wow. Eridan is way less prepared for this than Sherlock, because he doesn't have his scarf on (or his cape, for that matter), and he definitely hasn't popped his collar or anything as ~~hipster~~ awesome as that.

That doesn't make him any less pompous as he opens the door, though. Hell no. He's just haughty as usual. But, he knows Sherlock is bringing him stuff, so he has to try and be nice.]

Wwoww, took you long enough to get here.

[...try and fail, I guess.]

[ Yeah, no Sherlock needs to have the douchebag popped collar. That's his thing, okay. He's really doing this for his benefit more than yours. If this means that you never text him again. He can take the wavvy accent when you talk, it's jarring to his ears. But like your typing habits? All out OFFENSE. YOU'D THINK AFTER 7 MONTHS HE'D STOP BEING BUTT HURT. ]

I thought it was uncouth to hand you a peroxide in a plastic bag. I really was hoping you were somewhere far. [ Trite, smile. ]

[Eridan arches an eyebrow.] Oh, so you wwouldn't be around wwhen I tried to fix my hair an' ended up meltin' my face off because you made this shit wwrong? I don't fuckin' think so.

[He darts to his side table, grabs the gel and dye he's got tucked away there, and then darts right back to Sherlock.] You're comin' wwith me. [And if you try to run, he'll grab you by your scarf and choke you. He knows how to do it.]

[ OH MY GOD, ERIDAN. WHAT EVEN. B( ]

Are you insinuating that I'm incapable of making something as basic as peroxide? [ He's insulted really. Because to Sherlock Holmes everything is about him. ]

Must I? [ rolling his eyes. ]

I'm more than competent, I do realise you aren't a beacon of intelligence but I'm sure you can manage at least that fact.

[Eridan scowls.] I can manage bleachin' my hair just fuckin' fine, thanks, but if you screwwed up - an' yeah, I'm insinuatin' you're incompetent - an' my face gets burned off or all my hair falls out, I wwant you there so I can make you pay.

[Juuuust gonna grab the sleeve of your coat. C'mon, Holmes, let's go have girl talk while Eridan does his hair.]

Then aren't you lucky, I'm perfectly good at what I do.

[ Sherlock says icily. ]

And regardless, in a hypothetical situation if your face was getting "burned off" - I honestly doubt I'd reign first priority.

[ They can do each others nails after. Sherlock doesn't object so much just lets himself be dragged. ]

You're seriously making me watch you put on hair bleach?

[ ALL THE EYE ROLLS. ]

[Eridan isn't even paying attention to your lame exasperation, Holmes. He's dragging you to the nearest bathroom and you are going to deal with it.] It's a serious fuckin' issue that I'm dealin' wwith here, an' if this bleach'a yours doesn't wwork to my full fuckin' likin', I'm gonna start sendin' you text messages evvery hour, on the hour, until you make somethin' that actually wworks. I'vve been stuck here this wwhole time wwithout one coddamn ounce'a help in the hair department, an' noww wwe are gonna take this ten times more seriously than I wwould havve if this fuckin' ship had just givven me this shit from the get-go.

{ someone tell Sherlock he's not funny. ]

Realistically speaking, the worst that could happen is the substance is built up to be too harsh and your hair gets damaged.

{ damaged is a vague word. ]

You could in theory not even have enough hair for it to matter.

Edited 2012-07-21 00:02 (UTC)

[Eridan shoots a horribly withering look at Sherlock from over his shoulder.] If that happens, I'm gonna take a wwhole lott'a time beatin' the tar outta you.

[thank god there's the bathroom. aww yeah, commandeering a sink and a mirror for himself.] Besides, don't you wwanna see howw this shit wworks out?

[ Eridan, you are a skinny ass hipster 13 year old troll. ]

I feel quite threatened. [ he says dryly. ]

I know how it works out. It's peroxide, it's not surprising.

You do know how to apply this? I can only assume.

[leave him alone, sherlock, you're too old to be making fun of hipster fish teens.]

I knoww wwhat I'm doin' wwith my hair. An' shut up, usin' home-made peroxide on my hair is a neww fuckin' thing for me, since I used to be able to just buy it. [going from being privileged to having to rely on people to help you is really hard okay!!!

hey you know what has rubber ~~glubs~~ gloves taped to it? this bottle of hair dye! you should at least be impressed that he knows to put gloves on before applying shit to his hair.] It's not like there's anythin' else for you to do on this fuckin' ship, anywway. Other'n go hunt dowwn an auspistice or go stare at bees or something. [there's a sarcastic lisp on bees.]

[ To be fair, he's what? 33 - he really ought to not be getting this much kicks in making fun of hipster fish teens. Also, man Eridan you were spoiled. ]

Not everyone has a convenient chemist around. [ he quips dryly. Walking with him, noticing the gloves. Deducing Vanity or at least a high sense of priority of self from the gloves in correlation with the rest of Eridan's attitude. Accompanying him regardless. Eridan's probably going to send him walls on undecipherable language he deems as appropriate texting anyway. The word high maintinance pops into Sherlock's head as he watches Eridan patter on. ]

While the ship may lack a substantial amount of things for me to delve my interest in, there are more stimulating activities then watching you succumb to your astute need for individuality.

Edited 2012-08-02 16:44 (UTC)

[we're going to pretend that the two of them don't need us to narrate every instruction in the hair-dying kit manual, because let's face it, we're way more interested in them snarking at each other.]

No, there aren't, an' you knoww it. An' wwhat's wwith that tone? Indivviduality is fuckin' important.

[ Oh definitely. Just pretend how Sherlock makes 2302031 billion comments on EVERYTHING Eridan does wrong. ]

You're a teenager. Of course, it's important you consider yourself the brightest diamond.

[ Rolling his eyes. ]

Is it really individuality for the sake of artistry or is it a caustic need for attention?

[Eridan's too busy ignoring everything Sherlock says about his hair coloring to pay attention, sorry bro.]

Don't givve me that shit. [He almost says "you're worse than me" but he doesn't want to actually throw that card down too quick. Gotta keep some of this shit in the wings for later.] Evveryone's out for attention, that's wwhat people do. I'm not doin' anythin' that nobody else wwould do if they had the opportunity. People wwho think they're better'n me just because they're not obvvious about howw fuckin' invvested in themselvves they are are just assholes.

[SIGNIFICANT LOOK AT YOU SHERLOCK]

Hey Eridan, I just wanted to see how you were feeling and make sure everything was okay.

uh
yeah
im fine

You sure?
I mean, you don't have to pretend with me.

you got one of those masks too, right?

yeah
not like im fuckin touchin it though i tried breakin it but it just came back so I put it under the bed

oh. good.

under your bed, seriously?

wwhere the fuck else wwas i gonna put it

airlock???

if breakin it into a million pieces wwith the heel a my boot didnt do the trick the vacuum a space isnt gonna help much

well at least it'd be gone

until it showwed up again bein fuckin creepy an angelic all up on my fuckin business id rather just knoww its fuckin locked awway buried under that stupid coddamn jumpsuit than wworryin about wwhether or not its gonna showw up an scare me to fuckin death
you havvent seen it you dont knoww how fuckin grotesque it is that thing is evvil an i knoww it

wwait wwhy are you askin me about masks did you get one too

yeah i got one, and i was asking if you were wearing it so i'd know whether or not i had to come beat you up :)

wwoww first of all fuckin rude a you to assume youd beat me up if i wwas wwearin that horrible thing
second of all fuck no i wwould nevver put that thing on its fuckin creepy

did you try it on

it wasn't an assumption, it was a promise :)

and no, i didn't. mine's made of skin :((((

wwhat

i shit you not, it's seriously fucked

wwhat the fuck wwhy did you get a skin mask thats fucked up

i have no freaking idea, but it isn't any creepier than knowing no one came down my hallway and the stupid thing showed up anyway.

theyll probably kill us if wwe dont keep an eye on them i dont trust them in the slightest
keep an eye on that thing hay you dont wwant to end up becomin part a some kind a fucked up skin suit mask project or some shit

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TEXT | a couple days after our current threaddd

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omg. i'm so sorry. i ate dinner out. :c

it's ok i had to sleep anyway B]

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